NRL x The Simpsons

Simpsons Characters as NRL Teams
Photo Credit: Getty Images/Cover Art

Everyone has a favourite NRL club that they passionately barrack for. You might hail from the Northern Beaches and love your Sunday Footy on the hill at Brookie Oval (now Lottoland). Perhaps you’re located in the West and absolutely adore the attacking, thrilling sides of either the Eels or Panthers. Maybe you’re born and raised in Canberra and remember the days of Laurie Dailey & Co representing that famous lime-green jersey. Queensland is another one and maybe you’re either a Brisbane or a Melbourne fan. Either way, you’ve tasted lots of Premiership success. Or it could perhaps be another beloved side? Regardless, everyone has that one side who they would give an arm and a leg in support of.

Whilst The Simpsons has been/ still is one of the most popular cartoon shows in the world. Millions of people watch it and know the characters of by heart. And it always seems to be applicable to every-day situations that you’d encounter in real life as well. Here is every season’s side … as a Simpsons character. Enjoy!

1st – Melbourne Storm – Mr Burns

Just like nobody (outside of Storm supporters), wanted them to win the GF this year, no one outside of Smithers really is endeared to Mr Burns. However, they both do what they want. And that was particularly evident as in the biggest game of the season vs Penrith, Melbourne opened up a commanding 26-point lead at one stage during the match. And they both have fairly valuable financial resources which came from nothing. Looking at some of the Storm’s side, Lee had given up on the NRL and was trialling in the Super Rugby, now he’s a Premiership winner and in the QLD Camp for the upcoming SOO series. Another example is Hughes, the Premiership victory was just his 64th career game. And now he’s a damn Premiership winner! The two go hand-in-hand.

2nd – Penrith Panthers – Lisa Simpson

Lisa is without a doubt the smartest character on the show. And whilst Penrith was initially fairly ignorant to get rid of Ivan Cleary, bringing him back into the fold may have been the smartest decision they’ve made in recent memory. And it paid off handsomely as they rode into the GF on the back of a historic 17-game winning streak. That being fairly similar to how Lisa always aces her tests, no matter what the circumstances may be. And while Lisa is young, so are a lot of the key members of this Penrith squad. That includes Edwards who’s only 24, May who’s only 24, Luai who’s only 23, Cleary who’s only 22, Fisher-Harris who’s only 24 and others including To’o and Yeo as well.

3rd – Parramatta Eels – Bart Simpson

They weren’t the most well-behaved team throughout the season, just like Bart isn’t exactly the most well-behaved student in the world. But at the end of the day, they both always seem to come out fairly high in terms of the order of things. Michael Jennings is currently trying to clear his name of doping charges, whilst Blake Ferguson is a notoriously well-known bad boy as well. And also, just like Bart, they may have gotten away with a few sneaky things as well. Their September 6 clash against the Warriors comes to mind, where they controversially won that affair 24-18. This relationship has all the similarities in the world.

4th – Sydney Roosters – Superintendent Chalmers

Before being knocked out in straight sets this year, they were the back-to-back Premiers and the most powerful team in Rugby League. And at various stages in this campaign, they looked like the side to beat. That is awfully similar to all the power that Chalmers holds within the schooling system in Springfield. And whilst on the odd occasion they can be bested, such as when South’s beat them 60-8 or the rare time when Skinner comes out on top over him, they are always amongst the most powerful clubs/people going around.

5th – Canberra Raiders – Marge Simpson

They’re both nice. They’re both easy to like. And even if you’re not a huge fan, you still want them to do well. People wanted Canberra to beat the Roosters in the finals and people also wanted Canberra to beat the Storm in the finals. People always want Marge to claim a moral victory, whether that be pushing some sense into Homer or something different entirely. And unless you’re a Queenslander, how could’ve you not have enjoyed watching the form of Dally M Medal winner Jack Wighton this illustrious campaign or the constant goal-kicking heroics of Jarrod Croker?

6th – South Sydney Rabbitohs – Krusty the Klown

Prior to losing 20-16 to the Panthers in the 3rd week of the finals, the Rabbitohs had scored 144 points over their previous 3 clashes. That was as entertaining as Krusty the Klown is. But that’s all they really bring, is the entertainment value, they don’t offer much else. Off the show, Krusty is displayed as an alcoholic, chain-smoker, who is bad with his finances. The Rabbitohs might’ve made a pretty shoddy investment with the signing of Latrell Mitchell this season. While on the field throughout their season, they also had some pretty low, would-rather-forget-them-moments themselves. Chief among them being Wayne Bennett justifying to the media why he broke one of the COVID rules, that he helped to design himself or when they went down to the Bulldogs at home, around a month before the finals started.

7th- Newcastle Knights- Chief Wiggum

If the finals were based on form and not actual results, Newcastle wouldn’t have made it. They never really hit first gear all season long and were whacked out of the finals in the opening round by South Sydney. And just like Chief Wiggum, the Knights were in a position of power that they weren’t worthy of. They made blunder after blunder in that 26-point shellacking at the hands of South Sydney. 11 Errors to be factually correct. And we all know the Chief is pretty error-prone in his job. Case in point, when arresting Sideshow Bob, instead of saying take him away boys. He said, “Bake him away toys”.

8th – Cronulla Sharks – Lenny Leonard

The Sharks, just like Lenny, weren’t really relevant this season, but they weren’t really irrelevant either. They ended up finishing the season in 8th place, winning 10 of their 20 games. With a PD of 0, they really were a middleish team this season. And from their last 10 clashes, they won just 4/10 games. They were about as imperfect as Lenny. And one might even call Cronulla’s campaign fairly disappointing, with stars such as Moylan, Dugan, Johnson and Fifita in tow, they certainly didn’t live up to the hype. And their season ended in disappointing fashion, as they went out 32-20 to the Raiders in Canberra. Similar to how Lenny thinks he’s always disappointing Carl.

9th – Gold Coast Titans – Santa’s Little Helper

The Titans made a late run at the finals this year and although they ultimately fell short as an underdog team, it was hard not to fall in love with them. That being like how Santa’s Little Helper was abandoned at the racetracks, yet Homer and Bart took him home anyway and loved him. You just can’t not love em. They (the Gold Coast) ended up finishing in 9th spot on the ladder, just a single victory outside of the finals.

10th – NZ Warriors – Ned Flanders

The Warriors made the ultimate sacrifice this season as they played their season out in NSW so that the NRL could continue onwards and upwards. They literally saved the competition. Flanders is by far the nicest character in the Simpsons as well, constantly putting others before himself and always making peoples lives better. The Warriors, just like old Neddy, deserve some sort of condemnation for what they’ve put up with to ensure that others lives are better. Many Warriors players and staff didn’t see their families, including children and partners for months on end. While Ned has made countless sacrifices for one Homer Simpson as well.

11th – Wests Tigers – Comic Book Guy

They’re not a main character, but more there cause they kind of have to be and there is no real other choice but to be so. And Michael Maguire is so damn similar to the Comic Book guy it’s not even funny. He constantly pushed the Tigers this campaign and was their taskmaster. Comic Book guy is also notoriously known for being rude and mean and never putting the customer first, ahaha.

12th – St George Dragons – Barney Gumble

How is neither of them dead? The Dragons absolutely underperformed by every reasonable aspect this season and they may have well been drunk 90% of the time they were on the field. Norman and Hunt both had poor seasons. While De Belin, by some arguments their best player, was still fighting his legal case. St George won just 7/20 games this forgettable campaign, so not a lot. Barney doesn’t really get many wins at life either. So, with all that in mind, it’s pretty easy to see how these two work together.

13th – Manly Sea Eagles – Homer Simpson

Fonua-Blake calling a referee a spastic, DOH. Tommy Turbo suffering a serious, serious injury, DOH. DCE not even being close to living up to his million-dollar contract, DOH. Losing 56-16 to South’s, DOH. Signing FORAN! and letting go of Fonua-Blake, DOH. It was just Homer Simpson moment, after Homer Simpson moment, after Homer Simpson moment for Manly this year. And that’s the politest way of putting it. Manly were just dumb and unlucky this year, so Homer basically!

14th – North QLD Cowboys – Old Gil (Gil Gunderson)

Old Gil could never really get his s*it together. That was pretty much the hopeless Cowboys this year. Playing out of a new venue this campaign didn’t help them much, as they suffered 15 agonising defeats from 20 games this year. In RD1, they lost by 7 points to the Broncos. In RD10, they lost by 12 points to the Panthers. And in RD15, they lost by 12 points to the Knights. Them and Gil scarily have a lot in common. But if Old Gil can quote on quote, come back, then surely Nth Qld can do the same for next season …. right???

15th – Canterbury Bulldogs – Ralph Wiggum

Ralph is incredibly stupid. He’s incoherent with the English language, knows no basic social skills and doesn’t know how things work. The Bulldogs got rid of a coach who had them playing with a lot of heart and a lot of grit, despite having basically no well-known player on the side, in the form of Dean Pay. They also made no major investments into the squad. The list goes on and on and on. All incredibly stupid things. But that dates back to letting Dessy go though! Ralph is literally the Doggies season’s spirit animal.

16th – Brisbane Broncos – Tobias Dundridge

Tobias made a collect-call to Springfield which cost his father 500 Dollarydoos. Brisbane on the other hand kept on persisting with heavy, yet under-performing investments in the form of Boyd, Milford & Co. They both like to waste a lot of money that’s for sure! And neither got anything good from their Dollarydoos either. That’s for sure, hahaha.

And there you have it. How every teams season is relatable to a Simpsons character. It really is the show the keeps on giving, as well as the sport that keeps on providing us with some of the most enjoyable moments in the sporting world. I sincerely hope you enjoyed this 😉.

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